If your kennel is anything like mine, it’ll be stuffed full of all these and more. You name it, I’ll teach you where to find it. Now, if you’re going to live just like a MASTERFUL MUTT, you need to learn all the coolest hiding places, things to sniff, spots to stash your snacks and toys (a pooch’s life is not worth living without those), escape routes, and vantage points for barking at people walking through your neighborhood. Our family kennel is warm and cozy, and FULL of all the things a dog needs to get by-when you know where to look. It’s not as big and grand as some of the enormous kennels over on the far side of town, but for the Catch-A-Doggy-Bone pack, it’s just right. Let’s start with a wander around my home. Think of this book as a MUTT MANUAL… CANINE CLASS… DROOL SCHOOL… and you’ll be enjoying a more SMELL-TASTIC life in no time. I’d say every human in the world could use a few tips on how to live a little bit more like us pooches. Okay… if I tell the story properly… like PROPERLY-PROPERLY… you stand to learn quite a lot from my BRILLIANT diary. Today… Friday: The Catch-A-Doggy-Bone Kennel Mom-Lady called to it, and a skinny kid with messy hair and long, gangly legs clomped out through the back door. “Hey!” a boy’s voice shouted from inside the house. I wagged my tail and jumped up a few times, leaving muddy paw-prints on her knees (humans LOVE that), but she pushed me away, grunting. What room? We were in the yard! At this point, my understanding of the Peoplish language was pretty crummy, but I could tell she wasn’t happy with me. The littlest person (her name is Jawjaw) was complaining and grumbling because she said I was going to mess up her room. I’d been hoping for a treat or two and was even trying out my best puppy-dog eyes on the oldest one, but so far it hadn’t worked. I looked up at the three different-sized ladies and tried to figure out what they were thinking about. It seemed to go on forever and was very confusing. Later, though, we were just waiting around for something, I guess… or someone. Just not in the same way that humans might. IT’S TRUE! We always have, ever since the DAWN OF DOG… all the way back to the time of the cavepeople and their saber-toothed terriers… In case you didn’t know, all canines keep diaries. That’s what princesses locked in towers, or grandmoos and grand-paws get up to, right? You may also be wondering why on earth I would be keeping a journal. You’re sitting there, wrinkling up your forehead as we speak, saying “A dog’s diary?” to yourself and picturing my furry little paws typing away at a computer or scribbling in a notebook. In this book, you’ll find the story of my life so far with my brand-new family, and it’s a HUMDINGER! Yep… shiny-nosed… licky-tongued… floppy-eared… bow-wow-woof-woof… and you’re holding my daily doggy diary in your five fingery digits.Ĭonsider yourself extremely lucky, my person-pal. If you hadn’t guessed already, I’m a dog. My name is Junior-hello! Or should I say, HERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW? But for you, my non-furry reader, I’ll make an exception. We usually prefer to take a polite sniff of each other’s butts and-HEY PRESTO!-we’ve got all the information we need. Us pooches don’t normally bother with things like that. I should probably start this story the way you humans like to, with an introduction. That’s how it was when I met mine, and OH BOY do I have a great pet. The happiest moment of a mutt’s life, when you see your pet human for the first time, and you know instantly that you’re going to be BEST FRIENDS forever.
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